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Monthly Archives: October 2013

Dear Ice Cream

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(Before today’s sad saga, a wee reminder. I’m writing a book, and I need your support! In case you missed the last post, go check it out! We are 40% of the way to our funding goal, and we have started writing. Help us bring hope to folks through funny. Make a donation and get cool perks, and share our Kickstarter campaign with your friends! Then I’ll stop using exclamation points!)

Dear Ice Cream,

I’ll cut to the chase. We’ve had a rocky relationship, you and I. (Not a rocky road, this is too serious for that.) But it’s over. I’m breaking up with you.  You make me sick, literally, and I deserve better. I’ve gone back to you before, but I recognize an abusive relationship now, and you’re not good for me.

Photo credit: madlyinlovewithlife / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

Stop looking at me like that, it won’t change anything.
Photo credit: madlyinlovewithlife / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

This isn’t going to be easy, not at all. We had some good times, way back when. It started with heaping bowls full every night in childhood. (Weight Watchers, you’re welcome.) All shopping trips into the Big Town, Anchorage, involved a final stop at Baskin Robbins for a little Mint Chocolate Chip, or Daiquiri Ice, or Chocolate Fudge before we headed for home.

Things got a little rough between us in high school, when I worked for that ice cream shop. I got fired, because I couldn’t reach the bottom of the cartons to scoop unless I leaned into the carton so my feet came off the floor, and the other scooperistas (not a word but should be) got mad and said I was too slow. And because I kept forgetting not to stick long metal spoons in the blender when I was making shakes, and blender blades were apparently expensive. Then I cried so hard when I got fired that the manager immediately hired me back, which actually made me feel worse in the long run. Nobody wants to be a pity rehire.

Things got better later, when I was in college and then starting out as a young adult, with disposable income and time on my hands. We saw each other regularly,  and our relationship had a balance and a sweetness to it. We continued on together, you and I, and until several months ago, things have been ok.

But now, you make me sick. It’s painful, inconvenient, and you never check with me to see how I feel about what’s going on. I enjoy our time together, but then in just a short while I’m regretting it, and the pain and the digestive ….. disturbance starts all over. It doesn’t matter if you’re in your everyday, grocery store brand, or like last night, dressed up in your “best of Portland” Salt and Straw finery (and you were FINE……), it always ends the same.

So I’m going to be strong. We’re done. This relationship is over. And I’m not going to lie, I’ve been seeing someone on the side, and we’ve got something pretty special going, me and the tart frozen yogurt.  I think that will ease my grief. I just hope I’m strong enough not to give in to even the occasional hookup with you. I know now it wouldn’t end well.

Goodbye,

Tara

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Want to Read a Great Book?

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I’ve got a great book recommendation for you – it’s full of drama, inspiring characters who triumph over difficult odds, and it’s funny, too! I really think you’ll like it.

Only one problem……we haven’t written it quite yet!

(I’m not one to excel at getting to the point (cue husband laughing hysterically), but I’m making an exception. Here it is: Please support our Kickstarter project to write an awesome book, and then SHARE the project with your friends, contacts, Facebook lists, Twitter followers, and that weird guy who stares at you at the grocery store. Give him something else to think about. Ok, back to the long-form version of the post….)

That’s right, I’m writing a book! My co-author, Dave Mowry, and I are writing “No, Really, We Want You to Laugh”, a book about stand-up comedy and mental health.  Who woulda thought, right? I certainly never thought I would be either a) a stand-up comic; b) a passionate advocate for changing how we talk about and perceive mental illness; or c) running a Kickstarter campaign to fund a book about it!

But I’ve spent the last five years walking alongside my amazing young nieces as they have worked to rebuild their mental health after a rough childhood (GIANT UNDERSTATEMENT), and about 18 months ago I got recruited into an amazing program called Stand Up for Mental Health. Since then I’ve been performing stand-up comedy as a family member of people living with mental illness. I’ve also helped to facilitate more classes, and helped some AMAZING people take their tough experiences with mental illness and turn it into powerful, funny comedy. We’ve seen real transformation in people’s lives as a consequence, including our own lives.

One of those comics, Dave Mowry, thought what we were experiencing was important enough to share in a book, and I’m honored he ask me to co-author with him. We want the book to professionally edited, designed and prepared for publication, because we want our message of hope to reach a LOT of people.

See, here’s my co-author Dave and I:

Click now to check it out! http://kck.st/19NJpAB

Click now to check out the book project!
http://kck.st/19NJpAB

The Kickstarter campaign will help us make that happen, and we need YOUR support to do it! We’re about a third of the way there already!

Who ought to jump on board this project?

– anyone who is living with mental illness or knows someone who is

– anyone who wants to combat the stigma and discrimination of mental illness

– anyone who enjoys comedy and wants to see it from a different angle

– anyone. Just anyone. OK, that might be a bit broad, but I REALLY believe that this book is going to be a great read, and will be very encouraging to a lot of people.

If the highlighted links weren’t enough, here’s another version. Click HERE: http://kck.st/19NJpAB

You can help us out for as little as $10, which gets you a copy of the ebook! We made up all kinds of free perks, including hard copies of the book, front-row seats at our Launch Party (whoEVER thought I’d have a launch party????), or even a private comedy show for your business, your friends, or total strangers you want to treat.

So, whattya say? Come on, jump on board, it’s going to be FUN!!!!!

(And to those who have already supported us, THANK YOU! Wow, really thank you. Now go share it with your friends and family! 🙂 )

Why I Hate Classical Music

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It’s not my fault. Honest, I have wide-ranging and eclectic taste in music – I love R&B, country, oldies, gospel, African world-beat, Latin pop, hip-hop, reggae. I love nearly all kinds of music!

Recently on Facebook, however, a friend posted how much she loves listening to classical music in the car, and I was reminded again that my lack of appreciation for this genre marks me to many as an unsophisticated ingrate.

So be it. I can’t help it. I can’t stand classical music.

I was devastated in college when I signed up for Latin American Music Appreciation, only to discover that the period being appreciated was all music composed in the style of the European classicists. (Why I thought there would be tango-ing and rumba-ing in this class, I don’t know, but color me EXTRA DISAPPOINTED….)

How can I be held responsible when my childhood preschool used to make us nap to classical music? Clearly, I was a bright tot, and my wee brain rapidly absorbed these obvious facts:

1. classical music is for sleeping and

2. when classical music comes on, the fun is over.

Bye, bye, fun!

So can you blame me for reacting that way now?

Not only that, but I took dance lessons for about 18 years, with very little ballet and lots of  Jazz and hip-hop (ok, break-dancing, it was the 80’s) (There is footage, but it is zealously guarded, saved on virtually inaccessible VHS format.) So as far as I was concerned, to dance to music you needed a BEAT. Classical music rarely has a danceable beat, to my way of hearing it. If you couldn’t dance to it, what was the function of it?

Opera? That makes me break out in an irritable rash……..but that’s another post for another day.

Today’s lesson? Do your kids a favor, and don’t play classical music exclusively at nap time. Or they too will get irrationally cranky in elevators and at doctor’s offices…..

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