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Why I Hate Classical Music

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It’s not my fault. Honest, I have wide-ranging and eclectic taste in music – I love R&B, country, oldies, gospel, African world-beat, Latin pop, hip-hop, reggae. I love nearly all kinds of music!

Recently on Facebook, however, a friend posted how much she loves listening to classical music in the car, and I was reminded again that my lack of appreciation for this genre marks me to many as an unsophisticated ingrate.

So be it. I can’t help it. I can’t stand classical music.

I was devastated in college when I signed up for Latin American Music Appreciation, only to discover that the period being appreciated was all music composed in the style of the European classicists. (Why I thought there would be tango-ing and rumba-ing in this class, I don’t know, but color me EXTRA DISAPPOINTED….)

How can I be held responsible when my childhood preschool used to make us nap to classical music? Clearly, I was a bright tot, and my wee brain rapidly absorbed these obvious facts:

1. classical music is for sleeping and

2. when classical music comes on, the fun is over.

Bye, bye, fun!

So can you blame me for reacting that way now?

Not only that, but I took dance lessons for about 18 years, with very little ballet and lots of¬† Jazz and hip-hop (ok, break-dancing, it was the 80’s) (There is footage, but it is zealously guarded, saved on virtually inaccessible VHS format.) So as far as I was concerned, to dance to music you needed a BEAT.¬†Classical music rarely has a danceable beat, to my way of hearing it. If you couldn’t dance to it, what was the function of it?

Opera? That makes me break out in an irritable rash……..but that’s another post for another day.

Today’s lesson? Do your kids a favor, and don’t play classical music exclusively at nap time. Or they too will get irrationally cranky in elevators and at doctor’s offices…..

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